i haven’t named the kitten yet. this is one of the first things people do when they bring a new animal into their home and i am trying to not judge myself for the delay. 

i take naming very seriously. i see it as an opportunity to weave a myth to a being, or a plant, or a constellation. to connect to something bigger than just one being while still respecting the individual. i think whatever association a name is connected to influences how other people treat them. i usually turn off my logical mind and let things roll around in my subconscious before speaking the possibilities outloud. names, for me, are usually found as an accident. one will pop in my mind and never leave. i’ll weigh other possibilities against it but with each new possibility, the accidental name becomes more solidified. 

i’ve been so consumed with caring for her and all of the other beings in my house that i haven’t had a second to turn my brain off. my kids grow eager, offering up names while they pet her. some of them are really good. none are quite it, though. i wouldn’t be surprised if the name comes through them while i meander.

i have learned more about her while time passes. she has the loudest purr and the loudest meow i’ve ever heard, and one or the other is constantly in use (mandrake and siren were two considerations for this reason). she’s sassy like violet, maybe moreso. she likes to be very close but not touching. circe, on the other hand, likes to sit on my chest and smother me. she is adventurous and has found ways to climb and explore my bedroom in ways that no one else has ever thought of. she sits proudly on top of the headboard. she sleeps on my end table, in between the books. it’s like she showed up and found room for her wherever she could tuck herself.

this is how it has been emotionally, too. once she was home i didn’t feel excitement, or nervousness, or any heightened emotion. i felt calm and at peace, even when she loudly yelled through her first night here. the feeling i’ve had is: yes, my family is whole now.