the wind hasn’t stopped blowing in three days. it’s not a gentle wind, either; it’s a fierce one that throws tree branches everywhere and knocks my window boxes off the porch railings. it’s more intense at night, much to my dog’s dismay. she shakes like a leaf when the wind rattles the windows and doors. sometimes it slips into the crawlspace and makes a floorboard or two groan. that is the worst for her. any noise from an unidentified source can go to hell, in her opinion.

she’s not a guard dog. she barely barks. when she’s scared, she either runs to me or to the bed. once she was too afraid to pee at night so i went outside and barked at the woods for her. she’s half husky but needs to wear a winter coat the moment the air has a chill. i love her. anyways, she’s having a rough time and hasn’t been sleeping, so that means i am having a rough time and haven’t been sleeping. the wind has continued through the 40 degree temperature drop, through the snow’s arrival, through the snow’s departure, through the aurora borealis being visible, and now through a 40 degree increase. our bodies are going along for the chaotic ride.

yesterday was my dad’s birthday. he would have turned 73. he and his wife, the true love of his life, decided it was time to relocate but disagreed on where they should live. he put his foot down and said he was going back up to cleveland to be with me. she wanted to avoid the harsh winters for the sake of her health and move to western north carolina, so she filed for divorce. i don’t think he ever came to terms with her decision. he thought she was bluffing.

he was 59 when they handed me his ashes. i didn’t know what to do with him, so i just kept him. i figured he had been an absent father my whole life and we could finally spend time together. i even took him with me when i moved to western north carolina. this time, he didn’t have a choice.