i had a dream about ursa. in the dream, i was telling someone that she had died and how badly i missed her. suddenly it was like i conjured her next to me to show them. we were walking together like i was actually doing it in real time. it felt so vivid that i woke myself up crying. 

i don’t want to write or intellectualize today. i want to just hold that feeling of her beside me without anything else to eclipse it.