the csas are winding down this week. the farmer’s market has finished. my relationship to food changes in these winter months without them. after eating produce grown by neighborhood farms for 75% of the year, it’s hard to go back to grocery store veggies. part of me thinks this sounds spoiled. part of me is mad that not everyone has access to food grown in the same soil they live on.

i do some light preserving but don’t have the time to can or freeze things in preparation. i wish i did, and this is a goal of mine, but it requires more time in the day and mine are already overbooked. the only things i seem to make happen are dehydrating fruit, herbs, spices. my favorite apple orchard lost most of their late season trees in the hurricane and  things have been extra sparse. i lean heavily on root vegetables when i do buy from the store so my body can at least eat with the rhythms of the seasons. but mostly we eat bread, eggs, nuts, beans, and dried noodles. we are all eager for salads by the time spring returns. 

i’m aware i don’t have to eat differently; i could go to the grocery store and buy the things i would normally eat. but after eating alongside spring, summer, and autumn, it feels weird to throw it all out the window when i reach winter. it feels jarring, wrong even. who am i to override the weird requests my body makes? at least wintertime clears out my pantry.