it’s hard to get my footing with so many drastic weather changes. in under two weeks we’ve had:  five days worth of intense wind that knocked down more trees, freezing temperatures and snow, and now it’s warm and rainy. i grew up with a natural progression of seasonal weather changes. i don’t recognize the ping pong match its become. my body craves the gradual, linear descent into winter. the leaves fall and then the chill pierces the air. the first snowfall marks one of many. i fear those days may be gone.

my oldest kid complained when i asked him to put on his spring rain jacket this morning. the sleeves are too short, he states. he’s right, but there’s not much i can do about the unexpected temperature changes. i just bought an insulated winter coat, boots, and snow pants for him – maybe i will also need to buy spring gear in november. kids’ bodies change so quickly and it is already expensive, even shopping second hand. this is an angle to climate change that i hadn’t considered. i may have to get clothes for all seasons twice a year now, depending on how fast he grows. i don’t see how the world can go back to clear cut seasons like i had when i was a child. i wonder how the erratic weather and lack of patterns will influence my kids’ bodies. i wonder what will feel normal when they’re in adulthood. 

the plants are so confused, too. the snow threw everyone into dormancy, but with the warm, wet weather we are having now, seeds are beginning to germinate. they will sprout only to find themselves with another cold snap next month. i think a lot about how the juneberries flower every spring, only to experience a random snow that prevents them from fruiting. 

it’s no wonder so many people are suffering from chronic physical conditions when the rhythms of our world are chaotic. it blows my mind that the dominant narrative implies our bodies operate separately from our physical surroundings. that the trauma of just existing right now isn’t wearing us down. i remember in my 20s when i had a doctor quiet his booming voice to say: “you should move near the ocean, you will breathe better” as if it was something he wasn’t supposed to suggest. i am fortunate to be surrounded today with licensed medical professionals who understand the link and even offer herbalism for extra support. i’m not sure i could work with a doctor who didn’t want to acknowledge the influence of our environments. one positive of living through the hurricane is that a lot of people in this region have become acutely aware of the impact our surroundings have on us.

entering menopause while the world around me also shifts has been weirdly comforting. it’s like we’ve been thrust into the chaos together, both of us in unfamiliar bodies that have brought about bizarre symptoms in the blink of an eye. we’re both ready to have parts of ourselves die for our overall survival.